May Stories & Spotify: How to Hide in Plain Sight

Getting back into the swing of things feels especially fitting with this year's first review: How to Hide in Plain Sight, by Emma Noyes.

Book cover sourced from Goodreads; graphic created by blogger using Canva.

What If?

Take a moment to recall all of your worst, most shocking thoughts. I’m talking the most perverse, unthinkable things that spring into your brain, unbidden. Like when you’re driving towards a crosswalk and the thought of hitting the crossing pedestrian flashes through your subconscious. You obviously don’t act on that baseless impulse, and you likely won’t even remember having that thought at all.

Now imagine if, instead of immediately drifting out of focus and disappearing altogether, these thoughts were stuck in the forefront of your mind. All. The. Time. Those shameful, fleeting, nonsensical musings compound upon one another, morphing into a cruel voice that attempts to convince you that you yourself are shameful, evil, unspeakable.

How to Hide in Plain Sight guides us through a painful, poignant perspective of the inner workings of our main character’s mind, bringing light to the compulsive, irrational thoughts many individuals with obsessive-compulsive disorder struggle with. It also, importantly, shows us how often we distort our own self-view and fail to see ourselves as others do.

This beautiful, heart-wrenching journey of self-discovery is told through alternating flashbacks and the wedding party of the present day. In recounting the initial thought patterns and behaviors which colored her childhood, we learn of the many ways Eliot Beck’s family members and her closest friend, Manuel, influence her sense of self. We also encounter the “Worries” that have plagued Eliot since her brother’s untimely death.

Jumping ahead to the present, an estranged Eliot attends her older brother’s wedding on the family island. After years of avoiding her closest relatives and all but drowning herself in work in an effort to quiet her “Worries,” Eliot has convinced herself (and her family) that she’s fine. Her compulsive thoughts are under control. That is, until she is unexpectedly reunited with the one person that makes her lose control: Manuel. This, combined with Eliot’s resurfacing grief for her brother and sense of “otherness” among her seemingly normal siblings, threatens to shatter the semblance of peace Eliot had found in the outside world.

The narrative unravels as Eliot descends again into the spiraling, harmful thought patterns she’d hoped to have left behind – this time trapped on the island she used to hold so dear. Will she and Manuel be able to recover the friendship they once had? Can Eliot finally bond with the family she has always felt so disconnected from? Or will she finally reveal herself for the monster she truly is?

The Mind Is Not a Mirror

Emma Moyes creates a harsh landscape inside Eliot’s mind, and you’ll be rooting so hard for her that you might just finish the book in 24 hours like I did. Although it is at times difficult for me to read about main characters who come from such a seemingly out-of-touch place of privilege (hello, private island off the coast of Michigan?), I found Eliot to be an incredibly real, moving narrator. Living in her mind was truly eye-opening, if at times even painful to read, and I would highly recommend this book to anyone seeking a more heady coming-of-age novel with a romance subplot. Fans of Emily Dickinson's work might enjoy Eliot's brooding rumination on death and self-worth, while readers who ate up Normal People will find a kindred will-they-won't-they with Eliot and Manuel.

However, it’s probably not ideal for those looking for an easy, lighthearted read, as this book covers quite a bit of family dysfunction, addiction, trauma, and mental health conditions. I rate this book 4 out of 5 stars!

Adding to Queue...

How to Hide in Plain Sight immediately brought the following songs to mind:

• Spring into Summer by Lizzy McAlpine

• I Know by Fiona Apple (because Manuel is almost as steadfast and patient and yearning as it gets)

• Kissing in Swimming Pools by Holly Humberstone

• First Love/Late Spring by Mitski

• The Great Magician by Debbii Dawson (how Eliot thinks she performs around her family)

  
  

Happy (or tearful) listening!