Feb. Books & Brunch: Queenie

hinesabigail7

Feb 4, 20215 min read

Marking our foray into February is Queenie, a contemporary novel by Candice Carty-Williams set in - you guessed it - London. And in honor of Queenie's well-meaning grandparents, I prepared myself a warm bowl of oatmeal porridge this week.

Image features the cover of novel Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams. — Book cover image from Goodreads; graphic created by the blogger on Canva.

Time to Delete Dating Apps?

Queenie is a young black Londoner juggling work, familial expectations, and an unhealthy love life - all while made to feel at once “exotic” and obtrusive in her black body. Acutely aware of her race and people’s eagerness to comment on it (or studiously avoid it), Queenie is not new to sentiments of objectification or tokenizing lust, constantly wary of others’ intentions. Yet when her longtime white boyfriend suggests they take a break, she spirals into a whirlpool of harmful, traumatic sexual encounters. Inattentive at work at the newspaper and increasingly nervous in social situations, her mental health deteriorates; she feels constantly rejected and unwanted. Queenie’s friends, coworkers, and family vie ineffectually to end this self-destructive behavior. But are they attempting to save Queenie from horrible OkCupid matches, or from herself?

As her self-confidence wanes and she begins to feel more and more out of control (thanks to certain men), Queenie’s worries and low self-worth manifest in paralyzing anxiety. Queenie wonders if she truly has the strength to change her story, and begins to understand the power certain memories and people continue to hold over her, even years later. Navigating a long-fraught relationship with her identity as a black woman just as she undertakes the impossible world of adulthood as a Jamaican-British woman, Queenie discovers who she is and who she can be.

Queenie prompts us to wonder alongside her: who determines your self-worth? Why do you make the choices you do? What do you want?

"He truly wasn't very funny but: 1. Apart from Kyazike, who is ten times as funny as me, I don't find anyone as funny as me, even in this, the darkest period of my life. 2. Actually, no man is as funny as me or any woman I've ever met.”

Is Grey Okay?

To be clear, this book is not strictly a comedy, by any means. As referenced in my brief synopsis, the novel takes on some very heavy subjects and includes (pretty graphically) some scenes featuring degrading/violent/painful sex. These scenes were difficult to get through, and I found myself having to take breaks as I read. I appreciate that Carty-Williams even endeavored to trek such an intense, grey area in Queenie’s sexual encounters, though I myself am still navigating what violent media/content I'm okay with consuming.

Although initially a little hard to get into, Queenie offers an important and relevant narrative of modern womanhood. Labeled by many fellow readers as a train wreck, I never found our titular character to be a mess, or unlovable. Queenie herself is a hilarious, relatable protagonist surrounded by supportive girlfriends and a (mostly) well-meaning family. Her struggle with anxiety and childhood trauma was very nuanced and felt very real, and I truly empathized with her. To me, she wasn’t a disaster; Queenie was a young woman reeling from rejection and unsure of where she could find (or was worthy of finding) solace and acceptance. After all, don’t we all crave a little validation (even unhealthily) at times? And it wasn't just her interactions and internal monologue that felt realistic - even the dialogue felt very natural, intermixed with British and Jamaican colloquialisms. Sometimes, her narration did feel a lot like a diary entry. I wanted to look away from her horrific experiences, but it felt unfair to this character who was experiencing it before my eyes. Does that make sense?

And, in fairness, many people fall into a pattern of toxic partners or a harmful sex life as a result of low self-esteem or in an attempt to feel wanted. Carty-Williams never attempted to convince readers that Queenie's decisions were good, or healthy. In the end, her self-destructive choices didn’t make me angry, they just made me incredibly sad. I just wanted her to be happy and make healthy choices! (Not that anybody makes decisions that are good for them each time they’re faced with a choice.) Did I also want to scream at every character - man or woman - who hurt her? Of course. But I like to think that's a hallmark of a well-written main character rather than of cruel writing.

Queenie did stand up for herself at times, but she had an excellent support system, too. I love that her family and friends weren't relegated to the outskirts of the story - they were regularly involved in her life, and there when she needed them most. (Even if she pushed them away.) This sounds corny, but I'm just glad she didn't have to navigate that terrible year alone. Also, the character development we saw in her grandparents was *chef's kiss.* I'm pretty sure my grandparents still don't really know what anxiety is, let alone if they're willing to talk about it.

The ending of the novel practically made me jump for joy. Rest assured, reader, Queenie makes a comeback and reconnects with herself by the end. Queenie earns around 3.5 stars in my book, mostly because some details were downright stomach-turning and the narrative structure was a little hard to follow at times. I could have used a little more backstory/context in the first half of the book rather than entirely focused in the second half. I'd recommend this contemporary exploration of black womanhood and mental health to anyone who enjoyed Such a Fun Age, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, or The Vanishing Half.

Trigger warning: sexual violence, racism, domestic abuse, miscarriage, mental health crises, childhood trauma, possible un-consensual sex

Porridge Fixes Everything

I can really see where Queenie's grandmother was coming from here. It's warm and comforting without feeling heavy. I've always liked oatmeal, but recently I've begun to see the world of possibilities it truly offers. Growing up, I always had instant oatmeal with raisins, dates, and walnuts already in the package. And to be honest, that's still a banger combination. But now, I feel like the oatmeal is my oyster. Chocolate? Sure. Hazelnuts? Why not. Berries? Of course. Don't even get me STARTED on savory oatmeal.

Now, Queenie's grandma would actually probably judge me for making my porridge so extra. But I can't be bothered by that when I still have so many new recipes to try! (Plus, there are so many cool ones on Tiktok.)

Here's one that I'll def be replicating in the future: (from @mxriyum on Tiktok / @mariyumskitchen on Insta)

Oatmeal: